[MAGIC SHOP] Chapter 3: The Rabbit Pouch
It is pitch black as the door was shut behind me. As I looked at nothingness again, I saw a light approaching me. It is a guy, holding a lighted candle. He is smiling while walking towards me. He has a nice smile, but has bunny teeth. He looks handsome with a good physique.
'Hello, Gizelle!', he called my name.
'Hi!', I replied shortly.
In an instant, the milky way appeared before us. There is a round table, 2 chairs and a bookshelf there.
'You may sit. Perhaps a tea?, he asked, offering me a seat while placing the candle on the table.
'Yes please, a warm one.', I said, taking the seat he offered.
He gave me a cup of tea, then he sat down next to me. I noticed how beautiful the milky way is. It changes positions and colors, from a lighter shade into a darker one. I stared at it in admiration for a while then I heard him asked me, 'Do you like the milky way?'.
'Yes. It is beautiful.' I said in amusement.
'Me too, I find it relaxing', he replied back.
'Yes. Stress-free', I said.
'But we are not here to admire the milky way.', he continued then he winked at me.
I was caught off guard that I could not hide my smile.
'Yes, we are here for me, my negativities.', I answered in a matter of fact tone.
'You are right! So we are going from the start. Your first negative feeling in your life', he smiled while pointing his fingers from me, curling up into the sky.
The galaxy before us changed into a random hazy memory, more of looking for a certain memory. Then it stopped. It is a moving picture of a girl inside the bathroom.
'Wait, that's me. I was about 7 or 8 years old I think', I said, remembering that specific memory.
The girl in the moving picture is crying silently. Tears are falling nonstop from her eyes then she said the words I never want to hear again. The words I told myself I would never speak of again many years ago already.
'I want to die. Lord, I want to die already. Lord, give me an illness so I could die already. Give me breast cancer, kidney stone or anything severe so I can leave this place already. Lord, please let me die. No one cares about me. I know they will never be sad when I leave this world', said the girl, sobbing. She looked like she is having breathing difficulty because of extreme emotions but in a silent manner, worrying that someone might see her crying inside the bathroom. She is saying the same thing for minutes while crying. The memory shifted into another scenario while she is crying in her sleep. Similar thoughts were going in her mind.
Tears fell from my eyes. I could remember those specific memories clearly. I was like that because I believed that my parents never loved me. There were times I wished I am dead but I never hurt myself. Those were just wishful thinking. I remembered the days I pitied myself so much because no one loved me. They loved my sister over me. I was never chosen, even once by my parents.
The moving picture changed into another memory. It was a birthday party. I could see a rectangular shaped cake with the disney princess Jasmine on top of it together with a number 7 candle. The girl was so happy when the people around her sang a happy birthday then she blew her birthday candle number 7. There were parlor games and prizes. There were gifts as well. When the party is over and all of the guests have left already, it is time to open up the presents.
There were a handful of presents. Her younger sister helped her open the gifts when her mom came.
'Share your gifts to your sister,' my mom said. The girl frowned but did not say anything.
I was almost willing to share my gifts with my sister but then my sister chose the specific toys and colors that she liked before me. I got angry because they were mine, in the first place.
I could see 2 girls fighting over the presents. The mom saw them then shouted, 'Stop it! No more fighting. Gizelle, share your presents to your younger sister. If you girls fight again, you will receive punishment.'
'Why do I need to share these to her? These are my presents. It is my birthday. And I don't even get to choose the ones that I like?', the girl said, having tantrums. Her younger sister just collected the toys she liked while her older sister and her mom discussed. You could see the frown on the older sister's face.
'It looks like you and your sister did not have a good relationship', the guy beside me said.
'During that time, yes. Because my mom would always tells me to give what I have to my younger sister. Then, what about me?', I told him.
The memory shifted again into another scenario wherein there is a small pouch with a rabbit printed on it. A rabbit pouch, full of scratches under the bed.
Then, the rabbit pouch floated up into the air, forming another memory. It was my mom, happily talking with a market vendor.
'Please give me two of those pink pouches, please', she said.
'Are these for your children?'
'Yes, for my 2 daughters', she answered enthusiastically.
The memory faded into another place. It was my bedroom. My mom gave me the two pouches and asked me to pick one. I saw that one of the pouches is crumpled with scratches so I selected the more decent one. My mom noticed that the remaining pouch is not in good condition so she asked me to exchange. I really did not want to exchange but I did it with a heavy heart.
As I heard my mom went out of the room, I felt so angry. I was so angry that I banged the pouch into the wall so many times. I even threw it with all of my might, picked it up then banged it again so many times while saying this,
'Why do I always get the ugly stuff? I don't like this. I hate this'.
With my anger, I threw it into the floor and the pouch slided under the bed, the rabbit pouch.
I cannot help but be guilty on what happened that tears started to flow again.
I looked at the guy beside me and said,
'Do you know the feeling that you want others to know what you feel but you do not want to show them?'
He just stared at me with concerned eyes.
'I always thought that they will know what I feel even if I do not tell them because they love me. But I guess, that is not the case.', I continued.
'What do you mean?', he gave me a hankerchief.
I tried to wipe my tears, but new tears just started to flow.
'I guess my mom does not know what I feel.', I mumbled.
'Is that why you always cry to your sleep wishing you were dead?, he asked
'Yes. I even tell myself that it is better to have other parents than them.'
'And do you mean that?'
'No, I was just angry. I cried every night because I feel like no one loves me. I pitied myself so much for being the person that is not loved by anyone, even my parents. I cried every night, wishing that someone would notice me and love me. I always picture the day that would happen. And it gives me comfort.'
'Maybe, you need to see this.', he said, pointing again to the sky.
The rabbit pouch up in the air circled, became hazy and turned into another memory.
It was my mom, having her pedicure at home, talking to the lady doing her pedicure.
I heard her say while smiling, 'I am so lucky and blessed to have my daughters. My eldest is smart and mature on her age. She takes good care of her younger sister well. I am always worried about the younger one though but I am relieved that my eldest guides her well, understands her and supports her on what she needs.'
'I was not mature then. I even envy my sister because she gets everything she wants. We give her everything while I could not get any close to that.' I said in a guilty tone.
'Because your parents know how strong you are. They know how your sister needs your support.', he told me.
'The thing is, I am not strong. I also need their warmth, the assurance that they love me just how they treat my sister.', I said in a determined voice.
'They can only see what you show them.'
'Yes, and I failed them'.
'No, you did not fail them.'
'What do you mean? I know I failed them because I was not strong as they think I was'.
'But you are the only person who sees what they did not see on your sister. You supported her, you guided her. And you never hate her despite everything', he explained
'How can you be so sure?'
'Because there is no secrets in Magic Shop.', he winked.
I was speechless. How can he know when I do not even know it?, I thought.
'Ehem. Of course I know it'. He pointed again to the sky.
I looked up to where he pointed and said, 'Wait'
'So, now you are convinced?' He said with a wide smile.
I nodded and smiled back.
It was the time I told my sister that I would help her convince our parents that she would shift her course in college. I believed in her from the start because I know how talented she is. And I know how much she likes to shift her course. I was able to convince them and now she is doing what she loves to do.
'Are you relieved now?', he asked me with a wink.
I giggled and said, 'Thank you.'
'As a parting gift, I would like you to see this.', he said.
It was one of my most favorite memories, my childhood. I was playing with my playmates. We were running back and forth. Then, I saw a familiar face.
'Wait, was that you?'
'Yes, maybe it would add up to your beautiful memory.',
I laughed and said, 'Yes, I will not forget that part'
'Congratulations! And now is the time that I would take something from you as you have gained something today.', he clapped then insisted.
'Please take off your earrings.', he demanded.
'Do you always take the expensive ones?', I asked
'Not really.', he laughed.
I took off my earrings and handed over to him.
'Things you love were always taken away from you but you gained them all today. So, I am proud of you.' He stood up and spread his arms towards me, aiming for a hug.
I stood up as well then, hugged him back while he patted my back.
'Ready for the next one?', he questioned
'Yes', I answered.
He blew the candle on the table which emphasized the again milky way before us. We walked towards the door then he opened it. We waved on each other and said goodbye before I entered the door. After that, I went in.
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