Extraordinary within the Ordinary: Kim Namjoon

Author's Note: This is a very late post for Kim Namjoon's birthday last September 2021. So, the feels is so 2021!

I was able to upload just now :)

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"I don't know exactly how, I don't know exactly when, but I fell in love with you." 

You are just an ordinary person, an ordinary face, an ordinary human being, being you, expressing how ordinary you are on your everyday life. I guess that's the beauty of being within the ordinary. You are expressing yourself how you want to express it. There are no expectations. You do your way. If you fail, no one's watching. You get up, you try again and have numerous attempts that failing seemed to be really just your ordinary routine. That when you stumble and fall, you know how to land less hurt with so much hope. You are just used to it. But you never stop trying. That when you succeed, I can see that smile on your face, reflecting the hardships, contibuting to your sweet success. You are still the person you used to be, yet you became better in so many ways because your experiences made that ordinary person within you an extraordinary in the eye of everybody. 

Your speech on every event is the one I am always looking forward the most. You are so articulate that you can express well what you think and what you feel. I know you are a very honest person because I can see it through your eyes and through your heart. All the tears shed depicted how true you are on yourself and on your craft. You never stop trying and you always get something from the failures you experienced and made these things into something fruitful and beautiful. That is what I admire on you the most. The ability to make a negative thing turn into a positive thing. The endless trying and making things better for you. Your success might be bitter sweet but you made it even better not only because of your talent but also with your hardwork, perseverance and big heart. 

Every word that came from your mouth pierced my vulnerable self right into the bones. "Love Yourself", you say. I have always heard it before but why did it sound so convincing when it came from you? I don't know about others but your words deeply affect me. Those words became so meaningful when you said it. And I think that was the start on how I fell for you. 

There are so many times I just want to disappear, pause for a moment and breathe out all the negative feelings away. But it all seemed impossible. Just listening to your words made me think that it would probably be possible if I try. I am so afraid because I do not know how to start. Just as what one person said, why is it so hard to give when the other end is yourself? And I guess, we feel the same way. Sometimes, even giving just a little seemed selfish so I would just prefer not to give at all. But you let me think twice. I started risking it because I am about to explode, anyway. I tried giving in just a little bit and that chance that I have given to myself was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Thank you. I want to thank you for letting me consider it. It was so hard and I know it was the same for you. So let me tell you, I am proud of you. 

You are an inspiration but among others you are also just another ordinary human being. You made us feel that you are not special but you know what? That is what makes you extraordinary. You are already at the top yet you want to make us believe that you are still you. The 'you' who started. The 'you' who hoped and dreamt and you are right. You are still that person and I am so overly happy that you already reached your dreams but let me also tell you that you can always pause. Be just the ordinary person you once were. You can forget the pressure for a while to just be yourself. Go to museums. Go to a quiet place where you can read. Go to an adventure where you can find your comfortable and safe space. You are you. I believe in it. And I will always love you just the way I have always been. 

If you could read this, and I hope someday you will~ I hope that you will always remember that some people has changed their lives for the better because they were inspired by you. And one person among them was me. So please, just what you have always been saying to us, I will say it back to you. "Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Protect yourself". I know it has been tough but just as you are always there for us, we will always be here for you. You are not perfect. There will always come a time where you will also feel weak and vulnerable but at the other end, we can always be your angels. We can always be the light which shine upon you. So never ever give up. Trust in yourself. 

Happy birthday Kim Namjoon.

You were just once an ordinary person yet your existence which inspire many people around the world make you extraordinary. And we love you just how you love us. And we will always be here, supporting you. And when times seem tough and it will not go according to your plan or what you expect. We can always say, 'It's okay. It's alright'. We can always do it again, together and stronger. I love you and I always will.